The result? I'm a weepy mess of emo. I'm about to go over to itunes and pick out some sad songs to listen to while I pack. I'm all about allowing emotion to be what it needs to be, about feeling what I'm feeling and learning from the situation. Good stuff. But I happen to know that when I'm exhausted and weepy not much good can come from it and the best thing for me to do is to go to bed. I feel scared about the future, I fell scared that I won't be able to make enough money to take care of myself, I feel scared that my health will continue to decline, I simply feel edgy, scared, worried, anxious...my body is tired, my spirit is weary, I feel a little lonely and a whole mixed up sense of other emotions. a jumble. And I'm actually not too worried about the fact that I feel worried. I can see and feel that emotion without letting it completely take control. I know I'm feeling all of this because I'm exhausted, and so I can do my best to let go of what the worry means....because it means nothing except that I need to rest and recuperate.
But I'm moving tomorrow. and I've got stuff to do. arguh.
Even good stress is stressful. I'll probably have to come back here to clean and to pick up some last things that will get left behind, but I am seriously looking forward to being in my new place with my new roommate. There's so much I want to get done tonight and I just don't think it's going to happen. I want to be done, to not have to come back here, but realistically....I can. I have the flexibility of moving from one friends home to another friends home, and I don't have to do anything all at once. I can do it when I'm ready and able, even if it takes a week to get done.
One Day At A Time.
Blessed Be.
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