I almost fell today

I've only fallen once before and it freaked me the the heck out. I had severe muscle soreness that came of from repetitive action, bilateral quads, and both my legs went out from under me. Today was a near miss. Thankfully, no skinned palms, or worse. (It took close to two weeks to recover from that, 5 til I could walk without locking my knees)

I got new sexy riding boots in anticipation of my move to San Francisco. My old ones I've had for 8 years were garbage picked for me by someone I knew who was throwing trash and thought they might fit me. Those were the ones I learned to bootblack on...but it was time.

So I know part of the issue was getting used to new shoes which takes time for anyone...but it does seem like my proprioception is a bit slow in adjusting. The main reason I almost fell was simply instability due to extreme muscle soreness/weakness.

SO glad I managed to get my feet under me. Sure would have been embarrassing to land on my hands and get them all scraped up so I couldn't work and spill my coffee too. I'm grateful for that. I actually got my morning coffee.

I'm nervous about finding the right place to live in SF because not only am I looking for something less expensive, I also have other special needs. I'd much prefer a 1st floor as the thought of carrying groceries up stairs scares me. I need to feel safe in my home and to trust that friends or roommates at least understand a little about my limitations. Would you rent to someone who said they had chronic illness and spend a lot of time in bed?

I need to get through finals this week and next and then I can really focus on packing, roommate hunting, and maybe a little job searching. Yea, I'm pretty limited in what job I take too. I need short shifts and sedentary work. 4-5 hours answering phones maybe, or making appointments or something.

There's so much up in the air about the next steps in my life. Shall I stay a nursing major? I know I'll probably never actually work as a floor nurse in a hospital. Will I even make it through the program? I know I'm smart enough, that's not in question, but my activity levels are.

I know that uncertainty brings unlimited possibilities, and that's where I'd rather my head was instead of worrying about being able to take care of myself...I need to trust the Universe will provide me with what I need. I must have faith that I'll be safe wherever I am. I need to believe that I'm going to make it. And I will.

I will grow in my comfort level with uncertainty. I perceive unlimited possibilities and unlimited joy. I am loved and I am ok. I find the perfect roommate situation and a job that meets my abilities and income requirements.

Yea, baby. Off to bed now.

Bless You.