I feel depressed today, and I know it's because I don't feel well. So I'm not getting too hung up on it. Or, shall we say, too angsty about it. I'm learning about new limits. and they keep changing. the limits, I mean. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better at predicting what I'll be able to do and manage day to day, and then something new comes up, and I'm taken by surprise. I am thankful that I did my title year before all this cause I don't know how I'd make it through a weekend event at the moment.
The heat is oppressive and it's slowing me down more, as it is all of us. I remind myself that this is my last Phoenix summer. So let it be, eh?
I feel sad. and worried. and when I'm worried I tend to waste energy that is so very precious to me. I am worried about not having health care, about increased cancer risk, about having a swollen spleen, about the meds I'm taking affecting my liver,I'm worried about school and if I can make it through, I worry that I won't be able to follow through with what I said I will do, I'm worried sometimes that I am unlovable.
Yes, I do. I worry sometimes. but it's just worry. and it will end.
And then I remember that I am taking care of myself because I love me. I come first. And I remember that there are people who love me, and I am lucky enough to be reminded of that daily.
I don't feel well and I feel like I have a lot to do. Overwhelmed.
and so I bring it home, to the right now. I do the next right thing. and usually that means rest.
Until then I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive.
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