Recovery

It went fabulously :)
and I'm frickin' wiped out.

but after a good long day of rest and recovery I'm finally feeling like myself again.  mostly.

My body hit a wall about halfway through the dance yesterday.  I haven't belly danced in months, and this was a chance for me to move my body, and I did.  and it told me when to stop. I was able to keep it together to follow through with watching the dance, but I had to ask bruce to finish the ritual.  I am so grateful he was able to find the words and had the presence of mind to do it so brilliantly.

I was in tears at the end of the evening but I know it was a lot of processing on top of exhaustion. Emotional lability, sensory overload, sore body.

Even this morning after some good sleep I was still pretty weepy when a friend checked in with me.  I've spent the day in bed only venturing out for the bathroom, food, and to bring the piercing supplies in from the car.  Except for my sore muscles I feel pretty well recovered. and the muscle stuff usually lasts for days.

Hm.  I feel distracted.  Not fully here while I'm writing this.  I still have a lots of thoughts about the dance that I need to process.  but first...

I had my Dr appt. of Friday.  She just doesn't know what to do with me.  And I think she's a bit uncomfortable about it.  It's ok, there's not a lot to do.  At least she's able to say that to me.  but for the first time I felt like I was shuffled out of her office.  I felt validated though, and that's a big step.  She agreed that my description of my muscle symptoms post exercise/use was unusual.  I know this, but it helps to have the Dr agree.  And when I described my spleenic pain and discomfort she agreed with the conclusion as well.  She upped my thyroid medication by half so we'll see if that helps a bit.  It seems that while my blood levels are normal-ish, my muscles are not using it efficiently.  She also suggested that I limit any exercise or more strenuous activity to about 15 minutes at a time.  Basically I'm going to continue to be aware of my limitations and make decisions in the moment based on how I am feeling and how well I have rested, but now I have some 'official' guidance and restriction recommendations. or something.  I am being treated for chronic viral infection. 

I think what my doc would be great at doing is helping someone who has been diagnosed by an MD and not offered any assistance, someone who wanted to make a move to natural health, perhaps to try to get off of drugs and prescriptions.  I'm already there.  I already know that I feel best on a mostly vegan diet, I know I am better when I rest, when I don't ingest toxins.  I already know how to figure out how to feed my body.  I can do research on the internet, I can learn how to help myself. 

What this doesn't get me yet is an official diagnosis that would be recognized by my school.  I'm not sure what I want.  Or what I need.  But I have a feeling that documentation might be helpful in the future.  At least I have a copy of the positive blood test.

For now, back to resting.  Maybe a book, then another good night's sleep.  I think I'll be back to my normal-ish self tomorrow.  Good thing too, gotta busy busy work week. 

Stuff on the horizon:
meeting with O, debrief event, divide up leftover piercing supplies.
meet next week with O, b, and MB to get moving on DoS stuff.  (letter, team, supplies, etc.)
read judge stuff for Pantheon, vote by the end of the month
get on with planning special food needs for family reunion/retreat in aug
essay for USF application!!
computer purchase....I'm dreaming of a white....macbook.
financial aid...I still haven't been approved.  Haven't heard anything from school, in fact.