Better

Resting and illness brings introspection.  I learn exactly what I am capable of, and what I am not.  I spend a lot of time with myself and I am grateful that I like me. I've rested and napped on and off today, working a little in between and actually getting a lot of stuff done.  Most things on my to-do list I could easly complete here on the computer, and everything else I did in small doses.

I did some planning for the ball gown, picked up my personal space, inventoried my personal hook stocks, read my book, hung up clean clothes, cleaned and sterilized stuff from last week, voted for Pantheon of Leather, started the spreadsheet for food needs, drafted the letter to the DoS piercing team, preped for the meeting Tuesday night, and a few other things. 

I was trying on a corset that I shrunk out of, gave to my roommate, then she lost weight as I gained some back, and now I can put it on again but it's still too big on me.  While I was trying it on myself I pinched my median nerve at the carpal tunnel in my left hand.  Not good, but not terrible.  I've done it before.  I've got a little bit of numbness, reduced grip and reduced ROM.  I've iced it and I'll sleep with it wrapped lightly, mostly so I don't bend it at night.  The nice thing was that the corset felt super good. I wish I had one that fit better.  Maybe soonish.

I've changed my desktop on my computer from a picture of Lucy (the bike) to a picture of a MacBook Pro. I've been manifesting and visualizing and desiring for about a year, and I think that's long enough.  It'll happen soon.

I've made plans to assist during at least one suspension this summer and I'm super excited about it.  I've been interested in mentorship to learn ritual suspension for a couple years now, and I've had positive responses to my requests, but no opportunities.  It looks like I'll be assisting with a horizontal prone with about 24-26 hooks so hopefully I'll have a chance to do some of the piercing.  I'm quite picky about who I learn from...and only the best, IMO, will do.  If I am to claim mentorship and training proudly, as I do with my training in ritual hook and ball piercing, then I must be proud of my teachers.  I have waited for the chance, and it will be here soon. diggin' it, yeah baby.

I'll be flying myself again this year, another 4 hooks in the back.  I know what it will do to my body from my previous experiences, and I need to keep something the same as my body changes.  And this is a chance to complete a circle of healing, growth, and change as I'll be going up with E again. I need to put some time in meditation and reflection around this ritual.  Maybe next year I'll feel more up to doing a pectoral...which I know I'll do someday.  There's time.