I've been on the 1.5mg dose for a little over two weeks, and I feel pretty darn great. I estimate a 15-20% overall improvement...I have no words for the gratitude in my heart. I was devastated this year as I perceived the losses in my life now and the possible losses of function in the future. I was afraid to challenge myself wondering if it would only make things worse. Yes, I've learned a lot recently about how to pace myself, to listen to very early warning signs from my body and mind, and to estimate what my recovery time might be. Most of all, I've learned to honor my limits, and that, instead of viewing everything as a loss, I see this limitations as self-care...and I see each lesson as an exercise in my self-worth and Divine value. I am perfect.
Some specific benefits I've been experiencing are:
I'm completely off the daily use of any drug to help me sleep. (yes, I've already worked with every alternative option, treatment, and behavior modification out there) On one occasion I took a diphenhydramine to help me sleep through the night.
I feel better first thing in the morning. This is simply wonderful, and has overall giving me a brighter outlook each day.
Most nausea has passed. It still happens, but not daily anymore. Totally awesome.
I'm also off of daily use of NSAIDS. I've been on them constantly since last December when this last flare-up began. Because of this I know my own body's anti-inflammatory agents aren't really functioning too well, and I feel it. I'm having more muscle and joint aches, weird stuff that I can't always connect to specific activities. I'm achy and it ok. If I have a tough day at work I can get through it with a single dose of advil or other drug here and there. It keeps the chronic tendonitis in check that I've accumulated after 8+ years of professional bodywork.
And probably the most awesomest effect of all is that my mind works!!! I'm faster in class, I'm getting stuff, making connections and following the teacher, understanding the first time instead of silently attempting to plan when I'm going to be able to teach myself the information later. And I've found that when I am exhausted, even when my body is wiped out, my cognitive functions seem to stay longer. I can still think, and speak, and articulate my thoughts and feelings in sentences and be understood. I still feel more energetically confident instead of needing my comfy bed comfort zone comfort-ness.
Yes, I still have ME. Yes, it's still a daily, hourly constant awareness of my condition and ability to cope and to be active that I will likely have for, well...for as long as I need it, I guess. I'm still sick. I still need naps and rest. I'm still conscious of each move that I make and the need to conserve what I have.
I feel better. and that's enough.
I'll soon be increasing my dose to 3mg which is where my Dr wants me to be for a regular therapeutic dose. I'll contact her early next week and I'll let y'all know how I'm doing then. For now, I am enjoying having a brighter outlook on life. I don't feel left behind. I feel a part of the world around me. I feel like I can get through this challenging nursing program.
Yes.
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