A nap as a spiritual calling?

Maybe blogging late at night isn't the best time for me to be doing it. I always seem to be overtired and maybe a little more emotional. I don't know.  Maybe that makes it the perfect time.

Today I made a powerful choice for self care, and I feel proud of that choice. Powerful yes, but made quietly. I followed the direction inside, step by step, my intuition, my angels, my spirit guides, or maybe simply my better sense. I don't know. I walked away from a situation that I thought I could handle. Indeed, I rested some of Thursday and most of Friday so I'd feel well enough to go on Saturday. But when I got there I realized that while I had enough energy to take care of myself, I had nothing left to care for anyone else. And since looking out for and caring for others was *exactly* my job today, I obviously couldn't do it.

I miss out on a lot of social events. I don't go on dates, at least not lately. I can't seem to find the energy nor the opportunity for any classes of the extracurricular sort, and I know I'm missing out on a lot of enrichment in life. Most often I have a peace with this because I know I'm better off resting or staying in.

But today was hard, even though the choice was easy. It was hard because I walked away from an activity that feels like my calling. Usually in that situation I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, more than any other situation ever, I feel a _rightness_ about it that I can't explain. I feel that no matter what I AM doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And yet today I couldn't quite get there. I couldn't quite stop thinking about my bed, about resting, about a nap. Since when is a freaking *nap* more important than a spiritual calling? Since today, apparently.

(Other thoughts about community involvement/volunteer work as well as how hard I worked to get where I am. Maybe another post about realizations regarding what I will probably never be or do, especially in light of IMsL this coming weekend.)