No Nap?!? My week in review.

So today is the first day, perhaps this year...(the memory isn't great) that I got through the day, accomplished a bunch of stuff, and I didn't absolutely need a nap, even an anticipatory one.   I think this is mighty fine.  I've been feeling so good I'd almost say I'm kinda normal.  That is, until I have to do the stairs a few times in a row because I forgot something I needed, or if I'm carrying something heavy (like all my schoolbooks at once.)  I've had a good week, and I've especially focused on getting a good nights sleep.  I think this is making all the difference.  I'm also towards the end of a course of colloidal silver, so perhaps that is helping my body fight the virus a little...or perhaps there was some minor underlying bacterial infection that was contributing to a weakened immune system.  Dunno...but I'll take it. 

At the moment I'm feeling a need to take note of a few pretty awesome things I've done in the past week so I remember to give myself credit and recognition.  

I am learning not just a new operating system with the new MacBook, I am also learning how to download an install software, how to transfer data from my hard drive, how to convert .wma files to MP3 files, new Office for Mac software, iTunes software, a new web browser, etc. Wild. 

I finished a rough rough draft of my admissions essay to USF.  I've got a few really amazing people who have volunteered to read it for me, 2 with PhDs and one my brother who has a degree in literature, and probably one more with a writing degree if I asked. my old English prof, who is writing me a letter of recommendation would probably help if I asked too.  Neato.  I've still got a few weeks to turn in the application.  In fact, since everything is electronic and is coming form different sources it all doesn't all have to be together.

I have to register for spring classes tomorrow morning which seems simple, right?  With anticipating my move to California and the transfer into (possibly) the state system there, I've had to do a lot of research into what classes will transfer.  I am also uncertain at which school I belong, and each one has slightly different requirements for transfer admission.  Small differences, but all the same...I'd rather not take a class here and have to retake it for whatever reason.  And some school require a class to be taken at their institution, and the State Board has some requirements for the degree program too.  And there are differences in community college, state college, and private college.  That's a lot of reference material to sort through to decide on classes.  And then I have to look at schedule, availability, etc.  That's the easy part.  (yikes)

I was housesitting for 10 days.  That might not sound like a lot, but to me it's quite disruptive to my space and my schedule.  Now traveling is different, as I switch into constant unexpected disruption mode, right?  But being in town, doing my regular stuff, and not being in my space with my kitty can be rough for me.  

I negotiated with a new roommate to move in two weeks.  I gave notice to my current one.  I've started packing and even more planning the packing has been done. 

I taught a kick ass piercing training class for 12 people over almost 5 hours...and I did good. 

I printed out, filled out, and organized the UPC symbols a receipts needed for 3 different rebates.

I did my Butchmann's Experience registration.

I accepted and wrote thank you notes for both scholarships I received. 

I learned how to work iChat and had a video call with my dear LondonFaerie. :)

I took care of myself, I rested, I watched movies, I slept when I needed to, I fed myself ok.  I'm (mostly) keeping up with schoolwork and so far have 100% on quizzes.  (3 major tests this coming week) 

Combine all this with full time class and 3 days of work, plus two private clients, and all the driving between work, school, appointments, home, and housesitting, and meetings...I can't believe I'm not more pooped.  

Okay bedtime.  Thanks for reading.  xoxo

Better

Resting and illness brings introspection.  I learn exactly what I am capable of, and what I am not.  I spend a lot of time with myself and I am grateful that I like me. I've rested and napped on and off today, working a little in between and actually getting a lot of stuff done.  Most things on my to-do list I could easly complete here on the computer, and everything else I did in small doses.

I did some planning for the ball gown, picked up my personal space, inventoried my personal hook stocks, read my book, hung up clean clothes, cleaned and sterilized stuff from last week, voted for Pantheon of Leather, started the spreadsheet for food needs, drafted the letter to the DoS piercing team, preped for the meeting Tuesday night, and a few other things. 

I was trying on a corset that I shrunk out of, gave to my roommate, then she lost weight as I gained some back, and now I can put it on again but it's still too big on me.  While I was trying it on myself I pinched my median nerve at the carpal tunnel in my left hand.  Not good, but not terrible.  I've done it before.  I've got a little bit of numbness, reduced grip and reduced ROM.  I've iced it and I'll sleep with it wrapped lightly, mostly so I don't bend it at night.  The nice thing was that the corset felt super good. I wish I had one that fit better.  Maybe soonish.

I've changed my desktop on my computer from a picture of Lucy (the bike) to a picture of a MacBook Pro. I've been manifesting and visualizing and desiring for about a year, and I think that's long enough.  It'll happen soon.

I've made plans to assist during at least one suspension this summer and I'm super excited about it.  I've been interested in mentorship to learn ritual suspension for a couple years now, and I've had positive responses to my requests, but no opportunities.  It looks like I'll be assisting with a horizontal prone with about 24-26 hooks so hopefully I'll have a chance to do some of the piercing.  I'm quite picky about who I learn from...and only the best, IMO, will do.  If I am to claim mentorship and training proudly, as I do with my training in ritual hook and ball piercing, then I must be proud of my teachers.  I have waited for the chance, and it will be here soon. diggin' it, yeah baby.

I'll be flying myself again this year, another 4 hooks in the back.  I know what it will do to my body from my previous experiences, and I need to keep something the same as my body changes.  And this is a chance to complete a circle of healing, growth, and change as I'll be going up with E again. I need to put some time in meditation and reflection around this ritual.  Maybe next year I'll feel more up to doing a pectoral...which I know I'll do someday.  There's time.

Abraham-Hicks, Money, and Macbooks

Many people protest when we explain to them the power of telling the story of their finances as they want it to be rather than as it is, because they believe that they should be factual about what is happening. But if you continue to look at lackful what-is and speak of what-is, you will not find the improvement that you desire. If you want to effect substantial change in your life experience, you must think thoughts that feel different as you think them.

--- Abraham
Excerpted from the book "Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness" #503
Our Love,
Jerry and Esther

So I'm in the market for a new computer.  The drive on this one is bad.  I knew I needed a new one last fall, and I passed it up again in the spring.  I was waiting until I could have what I really really want, and that's a Macbook.  I spent over an hour on the phone with Sir, going over all my options an docming to a decision that I feel good about.  Yes, it's expensive, but it's the best quality.  And I believe that I deserve the best.  He says it'll last me 5 years easy.   Sure I could get a PC for $500 that would do the job, it would get me through, but I'd need to replace it in 2 or 3 years.  And you know what?  I'll say it again.  I deserve the best computer that my money can buy.
A few thoughts on this:
I don't watch tv, except for the occasional movie late at night, the computer is my primary entertainment, my primary way that I communicate with the world, it's the main tool for school and classes, and I need something I can take to class with me. The Macbook I'm going to order weighs less than 5 lbs, this one is almost 12 lbs.  That makes a big difference when I've already got 30 lbs of books and notebooks in my pack.  When I'm home and feeling sick, which seems to be fairly often these days, the computer is how I can connect with the world, it's how I can interact and maintain relationships without it taking too much out of me.  This is important.
And I am also believing that I deserve the best.  I deserve to go to a private school, I deserve to be awarded scholarships, I deserve to have love, I deserve health, I deserve my motorcycle, I deserve it simply because I am a child of the Universe. There is unlimited abundance.  And I will have enough to do what I am here to do.

And yesterday I was talking to a friend who asked what kind of computer I was was planning on buying.  I explained about how I've been interested in a Macbook, and how my friend talked with me to help me find the best deal, $100 off MSRP, no sales tax and free shipping.  She asked how much it was going to cost.  And when I told her she gave me the look.  The look that says she so totally doesn't agree with something but she's not willing to speak her thoughts and she doesn't want to get into it. She nods her head and gives a half smile.  Then she askes questions about how I am going to afford it, and aren't I depending on the financial aid money to live on and etc etc.  Then she goes on to say things like yeah, I might need a new computer but *I* don't need something that nice, *I* have limited funds, you know, *I* only have so much money to work with and so *I* have to watch every dollar. 

I felt so judged.  I felt like she was impressing her standards, her life views, her choices and beliefs about money onto me.  and it hurt.  because I care about this person.  but I've learned that she has chosen to limit herself, like many of us do I don't mean to exclude myself at all, but I've learned that she limits herself. specifically about money and abundance..and I won't let her limit me.  Not ok.

So I've been watching how much I listened to her beliefs, and I was questioning my own.  Because her beliefs are quite similar to how I was raised...those very type of thoughts that I have been working so hard to change over the past few years.  It was so easy to slip back into old thought patterns, comfortable.  But even though part of me wanted to believe her, I simply waited. Waited until I felt up to articulating my thoughts.

I tell my story as I want it to be.  I will think thoughts that feel different from how I used to think about money.  There is unlimited abundance and therefore I can and will have all that I ask, and all that I desire.  I will not settle for something less than, I deserve the best. 

I will buy the MacBook.